Breaking Through

In fact, a master plan: How to reinvent myself in 45 days. I’m a mother of 2 and a wife to a caring husband. We live in the UK in a house that we spent a lot of time and money on to look just as we wanted. So I have everything that people regard as important to be happy. Although I feel happy I think that there is a part of me missing and I’m desperate to find out what it is. So here is a woman trying to reinvent herself at the age of 44. Furthermore, a woman seeking her real identity.For a long time, I tried to find a way to accommodate my personal life, motherhood and return to my career, but I found it so complicated that, in the end, I decided to be a just a full time mum. Being a mother is a complex role. It gives you pleasure, but- God, it’s hard work! At first, I didn’t cope very well,but after my second child was born, I realised how important my role as a mother was, so I felt happy to be helping my children to grow into confident individuals. This crisis I’ve overcome. The mother in me is happy. I just need to sort out the woman and the professional.The question is: How to reinvent myself? I have no clue , but I’ll try every possibility on the next 45 days.

Sunday, 27 March 2011

Day 15

This morning I was in the supermarket at the checkout, paying for my goods. While I waited for my card to be approved, I gazed around the room where everybody was busily engaged with what seemed so important at the moment. Then, just as it happens in a film, everything stopped and this sexy, well dressed woman glides into the supermarket. For the staff at that busy Tesco, she could be just another regular costumer and I suppose nobody else noticed, but I did.
My gaze followed  her around as she moved so graciously from aisle to aisle. (Before you have a second thought, no, I’m not a lesbian!) . That woman caught my attention only  because she reminded me of how I used to be: confident, elegant, striking – in the words of my dear husband.
 Instantly, I had a quick look at what I was wearing. Oh boy!  I didn’t like what I saw.
Normally I try to look my best, even if I’m wearing a boring pair of trousers  and t-shirt ,  I try to embellish it  somehow,  with a scarf or a piece of jewellery, but this morning, after a disrupted night sleep, I didn’t even know how I made my way there, let alone dressing up in style.
I left the supermarket  but  I couldn’t stop thinking about what our clothes can say about us. And if it is true that our clothes represent  the way we are, I’d better start an operation rescue now . My clothes might be boring, but I want to believe that I’m not.
So who am I, after all?  
I know there are at least three women inside me. What I don’t know is how I’m going to address my emotions so each of these women can shine without over shadowing  the others.

No comments:

Post a Comment