Day 29 - PMS is killing me softly

Every month something very peculiar happens and I never find a way to prevent it. It all starts with me putting some weight on overnight. Then I get a little bit irritable. On these days a compliment can be easily confused with an insult. My husband doesn’t seem to learn either:

-         Good morning, darling-  he says

-         Morning – I reply.  But I think : I don’t see any good in this grey morning!

-         What are you doing today?  Anything exciting?

-         No.

-         Are you meeting anyone?

-         No

By question number three I stop answering. He then tries to make me laugh. He walks towards the dishwasher, opens the door and says:

-Good morning,  dishwasher? How are you today? -That only irritates me more.

What happens to men on those days? They keep asking stupid question.

On those days it is better not to say a thing. Just ignore me, please.

He keeps trying to cheer me up. All I need .

-         What has happened ? You seem a bit stressed.

Exhausted of not speaking to him  and  trying to convince myself and  the whole world, I shout:

I AM NOT STRESSED!!!!!!

If women are really from Venus, why don’t men go to Mars for that particular week ?

Day 28 - Holiday

If I can not work – sod it! – I’m going on holiday. I’ve just persuade my husband to take some time out for a relaxing family holiday.

Ciao, bela. Italy here we come!

Day 27 – Frustration... frustration... frustration...

A friend called me to ask if I knew anyone who would be interested in a full time temporary job.   It would be a three week contract with some flexibility, “ideal for me” – I thought.

 I was about to say that “I would – please!” – but  I decided to check on  my calendar first.   There, a bright reminder said: Half term for the next two weeks.

And just like that my plan of starting to work had to wait.  

Day 26 - Too hard on myself?

I have talked to a friend of mine about my challenge. She said that I am being too hard on myself and 45 days it is not enough to sort out my life.  Unless, I was doing only this for that period.  

I have to agree. If I count the time I actually spend on this challenge it is about an hour a day, or I have to stay awake until late, which it’s very unlikely.

Am I  being too hard on myself? Maybe,  but  for my own sake, I must complete this challenge on time. Ideally, with greater clarity of mind than when I started it.

Day 25

Sometimes I feel like a mad person shooting in all directions.  I check on the internet everyday for a job and  I have my eyes widely  opened trying to find a business opportunity .  Wherever I go, I observe people doing  their jobs.

 What the hell can I do?  Where is MY job for Christ sake?

 Another day a woman knocked at my door with an invitation for the launch of her new small business, based on natural products.  Women really go for it! Shall  I copy her?

I went to an event  in my children’s school and another lady selling greeting cards. I stopped to look at them and,  as I mentioned that I  loved cards, she gave me an invitation/information pack for me to start my on card  business.  

I was amazed to know that one can start a business for as little as  £30. But then, when I think of a South American fable, about a boy who was given an egg and, with forward thinking and determination, he transformed that egg into a fortune by persuading a farmer to hatch it , which he then continued to breed and grow his flock from,  to a commercial level - It might make sense.

I’m tempted  to have a go at the card business. But in real terms, can I sell at all?

Day 24

If , like me, you are trying to return to work, here is a good piece of advice: before you give up applying for a position because you don’t have that  qualification, google it, get informed, ask.

I was checking my favourite  job website last week, as usual, when I found a job that seemed to be the perfect one for me. Except I didn’t have one of the main pre-requisite  they asked: CLAIT.

To be honest I didn’t even know what that was. Only a few days later , after the closing date, browsing the internet I googled it . So, now I know... and so do you. CLAIT(Computer Literacy and Information  Technology)  and ECDL(European Computer Driving License) are almost the same thing. ECDL has a wider coverage, I think,  but both mean basic knowledge of IT.   What is so irritating is that I actually have  ECDL.  Damn it !

Day 23 - What to cook?

 This 45 day challenge if nothing made me realise that whatever I decide to do I’ll need a good management approach and a lot of organization.  Simple changes will make my life easier.

For example, everyday I spend about an hour trying  to  decide what I’m going to cook for dinner, another hour or so to prepare  it.  Sometimes by 5pm I have no clue what I’m cooking.  I find it difficult to choose because it needs to be nutritious and balanced and something everybody likes.  For a family of fussy eaters like mine, the choices get very restricted.

Today I made a list of the dishes I normally cook –I  didn’t realised I’ve been cooking the same recipes  week after week , after week. – I need to improve. It took me a few hours searching the cookery books, but   I now have   menu  for at least eight weeks.  Mondays and Fridays – easy food, like spaghetti Bolognese or chicken stroganoff. Mid- week I might risk a more elaborate recipe and weekends – I’m really sorry! - the chef will be completely off.

Day 22 – How does the story ends?

What do you do when you are in the middle of something and you feel like giving it up? What do you do when all your answers become  questions and what you are doing seems to be pointless? 

 I got to this point a few days ago.  Moved by dramatic events in the life of two different people that I know, I started to  think that there are more important things in life. 

 I didn’t stop recording everything I did, but  I stopped posting it, because I didn’t want to sound negative.  I was about to delete my blog when I thought of something my father always told me:  “if you are about to do something stupid, stop, sleep on it, before you make your decision.”   

 One has to make allowance for the fact the I felt tired,  so I slept on it for over a week.  z z z z z z

Just a few days looking at this challenge from a different  perspective gave the answer  that I needed and  I’m now ready to post my thoughts and carry on with my challenge, which I’ll definitely complete successfully. Remembering, of course,  that life is a book full of different stories and we all write a new chapter everyday.   No matter how sad, funny or challenging other people’s stories seem to be,  yours  is always the most important one. You can not interfere in other people’s stories,or let them influence yours. You just have to keep writing your own, beautifully.

Day 21

One thing mothers fear the most is the period in their children’s  life called “the terrible twos”.  I was so relieved when my children became 3,  I organised a big party to celebrate it.  But, just as  I thought I had everything under control, my youngest one, who is now five, is driving me up the wall. She seemed to have forgotten all the things I have taught her,  manners have deteriorated,  vocabulary became  poor and unsuitable, she is always on the go and never listens to me. In another words, she is driving me mad!

Today at 9am when I left them in the school,  I was so tired and so stressed I thought I would have a heart attack.

 Ironically, the radio played  “Sometimes I feel I’ve got to run away... I’ve  got to get away” (Tainted love by Soft Cell).

 I’m not going to lie. At that very moment I could have run away. Easily! Without looking behind.  

But,  I’m very persistent – as we ,  mothers,  are -  I just put myself together and carried on with life as usual.  By the time I was half way through my pile of ironing  while watching a film , I was calmer. (My goodness, I seem to be doing this job everyday – I hate ironing!)

One of the characters in the film described to a parent to be what it is like to have children.  He said:

-“ It’s awful, awful, awful... And then something magical happens that makes you forget how awful it is.  And then is awful... awful...  awful...  And then something amazing happens again...” And it’s awful... awful...

I couldn’t think of a better definition. I’d just add that these awful moments don’t last for long and the amazing moments really make the whole thing worth it.